"She was perfect, pure maddening sex, and she knew it, and she played on it, dripped it, and allowed you to suffer for it."
- Charles Bukowski, Factotum (via tequila-moqueur)
(Source: stxxz.us, via baublesandbrooklyn)
my printer can suck a dick
what kind of printer do you have
elementary school was like “hell yeah”. middle school was like “hell no”. and high school. high school is just “hell”
college is just “what the hell”
and as far as i can tell life after college is just “to hell with it”
you have two hands. i have two butt cheeks. coincidence? i don’t think so
my talents include being able to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes being distracted by my phone
student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker.